Weaving Wankers

It's turned into Summer this week. The bike path has gone from suck to blow with tourists.

Recovery Day Two

Rosebud's Lumpectomy Recovery

Dinner Tonight

Beer. Cheese. Meat.

It's time to harden the fuck up.

After my puke fest last weekend, I have not been all that good with my diet or training. So, in an effort to get my ass back into some sort of fitness I am cutting out alcohol, meat, cheese and other such ass expanding products. Since I have been dumb enough to post this, I am sure most of you will hold me to it. Thank you in advance and I hate all of you. :)

Cletis McFetus

Mr. McFetus has been growing now for 12 weeks. The Doppler scan from yesterday confirmed a 167 heart rate and apparently he or she likes to move around quite a bit. Some sort of swimming action. We're very happy that Cletis is healthy. Oh, and if Cletis thinks he or she is going to just sit around and play Nintendo, he or she is sorely mistaken.

Glenwood Crit Race Report

Big fat DNS for this one. I ate something poisonous on Saturday which kept me in bed all day Sunday. No start for me but since I preregistered, I thought I should write my report. Woke up around 7...puked. Tried to eat something...puked. Denial about getting better was killed off around 10:30. Went back to bed after puking. Woke up around 2PM...puked. (BTW: when I say puked that doesn't really encompass the whole expulsion story but I know that some of you are squeamish so I'll keep it to puking)

Woke up to Jaime trying to get me to eat a bagel. Nibbled a bit and puked. A little later I was given a graham cracker. It took me 2 hours to eat it. I could eat soup around 6PM. Lost 4 pounds and had a great upper abdominal workout.

Winter Training

June 11...it's snowing. That's actually not that weird for Summit County. I have been prescribed intervals from ElectroCoach and I'll be bundled up in the winter kit today and can almost guarantee that I will be the only one out riding.

That haze over Copper is snow. If we can keep this going, they should be able to reopen by September.

A nursery rhyme courtesy of the Wanker Aussie Dave

Simple Simon asked the Pie Man, what you got in there...pies you silly cunt.

Yellow line rule in pictures

Yellow line violator: Drunk driver

Does this make you wonder why more drivers don't get hauled out of their cars and beaten to death with frame pumps? I heard a story from an ex racer who had a beer bottle chucked at him on Rabbit Ears Pass. He responded like most tired, low blood-sugared dudes at the top of a climb with his saluting finger. I should add that this was back in the 80s before we wrongly assumed that the cell phone would get immediate police response and save us.

So the driver rolls up and yells out his window that he is going to kick my friend's ass because "nobody flips off my [bottle hucking] girlfriend". So being in the middle of nowhere with a drunk guy in a huge truck looking to avenge the sweet sensibilities of a cunt, my friend has gotten himself on the driver's side awaiting his beating. When the dipshit starts to step out, my friend lays all of his weight into the door and smashes the guy's leg against the bottom of the door frame. Then with great presence of mind, as the fat fuck is howling in pain (not sure if he got in a free head shot at this point), he takes the guy's keys and chucks them off into the bushes. With that little incident over, he rides on to Steamboat never to see fat fuck and cunt face again. I'd call that a win-win.

Rosebud has become an armrest

City Park

New course was interesting and threw some completely new tactical issues into this race. The corners (aka off-camber roundabouts) on this thing are notorious for causing crashes and this year they kept up their reputation. In the 3s there were four or five that I saw. At least two of them were solo efforts. The new open road around the lake looked like a good place to move up but it turned out that the pace was really high at the beginning of the extra loop and once the pack settled the road narrowed. If you weren't in the front from start to finish in this race, it was pretty hard to move up. The turns on the old course kept everyone in the back slowing and having to jump hard to keep the pack together. Really good training for me but frustrating to make any headway out of a packfill finish (make that back of the pack fill). Remember kids, it is easier to race towards the front in very turny/technical crits. 92 started and 67 finished: I rolled in at 60th. I am not a big fan of the assumed last-lap-crash-scene and sat up. Sprinting and defending 30th place is not my thing.

This year's random road obstructions did not include drunken/dazed transients but geese waddling into the road. The marshalls did a pretty good job corralling them but the group had to split in half to keep from creaming one.

Race Summary: pace was around 27 average; great training for later races; it's only June 1, goal for the year and reason for racing 3s is to stomach having to jump out of turns (definitely worked that to death), stayed upright and healthy.