Alex Rodriguez: Douche Nozzle

First of all, here is the cycling equivalent of getting caught doping applied to baseball:

Banned from professional baseball for two years, lose all income. Get dropped by sponsors. Be ridiculed by parents who believe that sports heroes exist to teach their children what "greatness" is. Disappear from society.

Return from two year ban to only be allowed into the minor leagues at a minor league salary for two years. Might get a little endorsement money from a local pizza franchise.

This is all under the assumption that he admits to it and doesn't go through a losing battle with WADA.

Parts of Alex Rodriguez' press conference, in case you were relying on him to inspire your children:

Do you consider this cheating?

"That’s not for me to determine. I'm here to say I'm sorry... In some ways I wish I went to college and had a chance to grow up."

"I didn't think they were steroids. That's part of being young and stupid. It was over the counter. It was pretty basic. It was amateur hour.... It was two guys doing a very amateur thing ... All these years I never thought I did something wrong."

He finds Madonna attractive enough to nail her while she is married let alone ever.

Would you consider taking more steroid tests to prove his innocence going forward?

"My style is to never challenge anything. I think the system in place is really good. I think Major League Baseball has made some incredible strides. It's a different game today than it was 10 or 15 years, even seven years ago. Numbers across the board prove that.

"I will say in 06 was a blood test and next week is another blood test. If I'm not correct, the WBC is a blood test. I'm checking facts now because... I think that's what it is."