Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Barloworld found a way out of paying to sponsor a team when they bailed out in a tizzy fit over Duenas' positive.

They shoud get a Spanish sponsor next year or move to California and call themselves High Road. That name's not being used anymore.

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Piepoli has been released from Saunier Duval for violating "team ethics". This is a team with a rider who somehow gets his hands on a very new, not-on-the-market-yet EPO drug. He did this all by his dumb little self and the team manager, Mauro Gianetti, was "totally unaware of any doping practices going on in the team."

Wow...Liberty Seguros...oops I mean Saunier Duval and Gianetti are sooo pure. Wait...isn't he the guy who was suspected of doping when he passed out at the Tour of Romandie in 1997? Oh right...nobody doped in the 90s. Hee-hee.

Added bonus crap:

Tom Boonen, Favorite Song Lyrics "you gotta fight, for your right, to paaaaartay."

Andy Dick Quote from The Gong Show "You're not born with that talent...it's fucked into you by a gay wizard." Yikes.

A reasonable solution to an irrational problem

My letter to the editor from the July 9 edition of the Summit Daily:

It looks like Denver Water has finally realized that a bored and sleepy security guard armed with a blow horn and a pistol is no match for a motivated terrorist sleeper cell hell-bent on disrupting the flow of Front Range water and turning Silverthorne into a pond. There is only one reasonable solution to this problem. We need to call out the militia.



Somewhere in the woods there is a group fine American citizen, looking for something to shoot besides beer cans. Strength in numbers! This will be known as Operation Dam Redneck Surge and Protect. We will also need a complete replica of Boston’s Old North Church and volunteer child. Said child (wearing helmet) will be stationed in the belfry with two Coleman Lanterns to indicate the direction of terrorist attack. One if by land. Two if by lake.



Upon indication of said attack (when it is not a drill) Broncos mascot Thunder II ridden by the fabulous Ann Judge-Wegener will ride throughout the land indicating that the terrorists are coming, the terrorists are coming. This of course will be met with a hail of freedom giving gun fire by the militia. And as God is our witness, Denver will have never have brown lawns again.

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Wow...take back the tour. Who's taking it back? The dopers! Let em all dope. Let em do pot! Oh wait..that's Mountain Bike Downhill. A lesser form of cycling. Duuude...yeaaah.....my bike weighs 50 pounds. Hand me that pipe.

Ricco, The Cobra, oops I mean The Trouser Snake tested positive for EPO. Wow all those red blood cells and he still couldn't beat Contador (The Cabana Boy) at the Giro.

Ban Spain! I mean really...Paella? Who the hell thought up that mess?

The Trouser Snake supplied me with something snide to say every mountain stage...he will be missed.

Bonus Snide Comment: Saunier Duval...French name, Spanish team, Italian douche.

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Well, not much happened today. A break formed that was in no way a danger to the GC and Mr. Arvesen (CSC) got a stage win. However, in doping news. The Spanish continue to push the limits when it comes to EPO. Aha! We know sumting you do not know...we do not inject left handed. Vete a la chingada Frances...vamos a dopar! Podemos correr y podemos escondernos...nunca van a hallarnos! Ha! Ha! We are sleepairy like da eel.

CSP Table Mountain Crit aka PseudoMead aka Wheels of Thunder course

Last night was a good night for racing in a pack. The wind never really picked up strong enough to help any breaks stay away. I saw what looked like blocking from a VC guy for a while but that break came back. Colby Pearce, current points leader and former pro, stayed in the pack the whole hour. Since he is a marked man with the leader jersey and no team with him, we would have chased down like a pack rabid dogs and he knew it.

I had a good race...the counter-clockwise direction suits me better than the other way. I will know I am getting faster when I can successfully ride that race the other direction. Got 45 miles of riding in a circle between sitting on the 4s pack and our race. The hip was highly drugged with ibuprofen and didn't seem to bother me as much. I'm an over-the-counter doper.

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Rest day.

Longmont Crit - State Championships

99 starters in this thing. I was at my traditional front 10 at the start and the pace seemed relatively lively. I was doing a pretty good job surfing around the pack until about 7 or 8 laps to go when my hip started to do it's thing and I bailed out with 6 to go. In hindsight, I will be taking ibuprofen and sucking it up from now on. As soon as I bailed, the break was caught and the pace dropped to a "let's all give up and accept a sprint finish so nobody wants to be in front" level.

Crashes, yes there were crashes. In fact, one nice and gory one right in front of me. I got a free lap pulling the "tip over" scam. There was no way I was going to close the gap opened up by the body pile. Testosterone and shitty cornering makes for a nice bloody race every week. It is pretty amazing that some of these guys actually show up every week and haven't been scared off yet.



Congratulations to Alan McCormack (51) who won the crit state championships and Randy Reichardt who took 2nd!

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Bon jour! C'est le jour d'attaque francaise aka Bastille Day. This is the day some French Domestique makes a glorious solo break for God and Country. We'll see what happens.

ohhhh...c'est la merde. No French weeen ahn zuh Bastille Day. L'italian poofter Piepoli weeens...he muhst be makeeen zuh dope.

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Riccardo Ricco does it again. That skinny little chump can climb. No attack on his cycling ability but naming yourself "The Cobra" sort of makes you "The Trouser Snake."

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Nothing snide today. Cavendish still rocks and Robbie McEwen has no lead-out from his team. Damn you Cadel and your GC aspirations! By the way, if your wife has one of those Intuition razors, I highly recommend trying it out. Ooo yeah, soooo smooth.

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

A big congrats to Manuel "Triki" Beltran for having the balls to stick it to "Take Back the Tour". Wow, it's amazing an ex Postal and Discovery rider would start doping after leaving those teams cause everybody knows they were clean. Oh snap, his 1999 samples were positive when they were tested 6 years later. Tienes que tener huevos grandes para dopar este ano. Buena suerte Manuel...eres el mas macho. Ahora empieza...Operacion Pendejo.

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Ricco takes a stage! We should get some good snotty comments out of him this week. I might have to take a break on the "snide report" and let him go at it solo for a while.

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Mark Cavendish is super cool...but look at the level of babe-swooning coolness he is following. Can he compete? Time will tell.

CSP Table Mountain Crit aka PseudoMead aka Wheels of Thunder course

Holy hell. The pace was insane on the first few laps last night. The plan to gutter the field on the top of the hill was nixed by Colby Pearce who had his own plan of torture. The elite VC guys road really well though and Christan McCarthy got in the break and won the race. As you can probably guess, I was no where near the front. I bounced around in a few different groups and pulled out after feeling I had had enough guttering torture for the night. Then we went to Qdoba and ate Quesadillas. That was worth it.

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Snore...time trials are worse to watch than golf. Thank God for CyclingNews live updates and multi-tasking. Ooo....Cadel is off, woo-hoo! Look at the funny helmet and the sleaky position. Pedal, pedal, pedal. Snore.

Tur Day Fraance Stupid Comment Du Jour

Frischkorn rocks hard but not quite as hard as the frenchie dude from the cow nipple stimulator team, french people like to protest, and the badger is still un douche extrodinaire but I think he's cool, will he be my facebook friend? Mais no, je ne vais jamais être ton ami...idiot!

New Office Arrangement

Audrey Catburn has infiltrated Rosebud's chair so we have added furniture to accomodate her napping needs.

Niwot Crit

I swear to God I am going to have a good Niwot Crit one year! This was not the year. I felt sluggish warming up; I felt sort sluggish on the first few laps which were fast. The group felt the need to chase down two children from RMCEF who for whatever reason decided that a two up break was a good move 200 meters into the race.

I let myself slip back too far into the group then suffered from the corner jumping. With two 120 degree corners in a row and a bunch of 90s thrown in, being too far back is bad. I lasted about 30 minutes and as a gap opened in front of me I had had it. I saw a group behind and when they reached me it was apparent that they were in desperate riding mode and not working together. Some of the guys in the group were complaining about disorganization as they caught me so I just called it and let them go. The weirdness of dropping out of a crit halfway is that I always feel more fatigue after those 30 minutes than I do after having a good race for 60. The good thing about this race is that there were a ton of people taking pictures and if I wasn't fast I certainly looked good. "It's better to look good than to feel good."...Fernando

Speaking of looking good, you think the ACA would let me race something like this at Niwot next year?

Rosebud likes to camp

Rosebud likes snow in July on Cottonwood Pass.


Rosebud likes her camp spot.


Rosebud likes her tent a lot.


Rosebud likes it when daddy brings his electric guitar. It's great for camping; mommy can hardly hear the metal that Rosebud likes and Rosebud thinks Black Sabbath is soothing.

Rosebud likes to camp.

CSP Table Mountain Crit aka PseudoMead aka Wheels of Thunder course

Good race this week. The wind wasn't at its normal guttering pack exploding level. Just a nice little breeze which put us all trying to stay protected in only a few sections. I attempted a points sprint and came around 6th or 7th. No point or points.

Attacks were frequent and finally a 5 man break got away (way away) with 2 or 3 chasers. One Vitamin Cottager in the break and 1 in the chase group. I went to the front and blocked for a few laps until I saw the chasers coming back then went back into the pack for a bit. I tried to move up as much as possible when there was a good spot. That seemed to work out. I was toward the front for the final sprint but not in what anyone would call good positioning. Senor Speedy, Brent Ertz, had good spot and a pretty good lead-out from one of the VC guys. He took 2nd in the field sprint which got him 7th overall. He went pretty early around his lead-out but they had little gap behind them and was able to hold off most of the pursuers. I jumped on a group on the other side of the road and came in around 15th-ish. Average speed for the whole deal was 27.9 for about an hour so training-wise it was a great race for me. I am taking a guess here but I am pretty sure the same Slipstream guy took it again this week.

Here's an Alberto Tomba quote for the ages:

"I used to have a wild time with three women until 5 a.m., but I am getting older. In the Olympic Village here, I will live it up with five women, but only until 3 a.m." -Alberto Tomba